Getting Anxious...

I cannot believe how fast my pregnancy has flown by. Sometimes I still catch myself saying "wow....I'm really pregnant." This week I will be six months pregnant (24 weeks). I cannot even begin to describe how amazing the whole experience has been. More and more each day, Hartley spends her time kicking her way around inside me and it is unlike anything I've ever felt before. I can feel her turn completely over, upside down, and even kick me as hard as she possibly can and each day her strength grows more and more.

It's crazy how you become so paranoid about the safety and health of your unborn child or maybe it's just me...but, I wonder and worry about how she's doing 24/7. The times that reassure me just so happen to be at 6 a.m. when Joey's alarm clock wakes me up and I know I still have more time to sleep. Hartley however, thinks it's her alarm to wake up to and then begins her morning hour work out. And of course, this makes it almost impossible to go back to sleep. She does seem to have a routine now...or somewhat of one. I just hate freaking out if she's not moving for a long period of time. I can't wait until this period of worrying about her and not being able to see her or do anything to help, will end. I know, I know, as a parent, worrying will never go away, but you know what I mean.

So...as you can tell, I'm getting anxious. I feel this growing need to fill up Hartley's nursery and I am just waiting for that moment when Joey says we can. I am wishing and hoping that I will be able to start on my birthday, but we'll see. I just hate to do things last minute...I always do everything, and I mean everything, wayyyyyyy before I should. I like that about myself, it makes me feel accomplished and organized. I'll also be glad to not have to stare at my registries anymore and actually see those precious items in person that will soon make up her room.

So...I'm sure you'll be seeing me count down, annoyingly, I might add. But, that's just me. As it gets closer to time, I also think more and more about being able to stay at home with her full-time. It breaks my heart thinking that it's so hard in this economy. I want Hartley to have the most amazing childhood like I did- with a mom who was always there. Most of you know that being a stay-at-home mom is my dream. It may not be a dream to many women these days, but I will pray every single day for that to happen. I know it truly is my calling, my purpose, and nothing makes me happier than to dream about it and to hope someday that it will come true.

A Little Note to My Little Princess:

I feel you...
tiny, precious, innocent one inside me.
I think about you constantly...
wondering if you're okay, if I'm taking good care.
I dream about meeting you...
looking in your eyes, holding your hand, giving you kisses.
I love you...
even though i've never seen your face, or looked in your eyes,
or held your hand, or given you kisses- because,
You are the gift I've waited for my whole life, my little princess.