Here she is folks! The little bundle of joy that I've already fallen head over heels in love with, is here. Now, I may sound a tad bit crazy in this entry, and I will blame it on the baby blues or post partum whatever you call it. This week has been the most overwhelming, emotional, but amazing week of my life. I never thought that it would actually come or that I would see a little human that Joey and I created together, but she's here...finally....and she's doing fantastic! Hartley is already on somewhat of a schedule, only waking up two times a night! She is the most calm and alert baby I have ever seen. Now, the only way to get on her bad side is to change her clothes or diaper or let her be hungry for a split second....that's all. Well, actually, today Aunt Stephanie did her Newborn photo shoot and Hartley didn't like being moved around and forced to pose much. It was heartbreaking but kind of funny because I ended up having to hold her in a blanket and put it over my face so I wouldn't be in the pictures. lol. We definitely got some adorable ones though and I can't wait to see them!
So as for this huge, life-changing event, the one I have been wanting and waiting for my whole life has finally come and gone....wow. I never thought it possible to love someone so much that you just met, or to feel the power of love between your husband and your baby as a family. I'm not going to lie, it has been tough and I need some prayers so I don't drive Joey off the deep end.....I've been so emotional...crying mostly every day for no reason- no reason at all.....waking up from a nap, having a spoon left out of a place, you name it.....it's ridiculous. At least I'm aware that the way I'm acting is ridiculous. I hate it....this baby blues thing is not fun....I feel extremely overwhelmed with happiness and sadness at the same time. Talk about major hormonal imbalance, and I'm already way too sensitive! Imagine me normal-sensitive times a billion- not cool. Anywho, things are getting easier and Joey is amazing with her, and I mean amazing. I'm almost jealous at how calm and collected he is when handling her and her tears, especially bath time. He just has a way that is so natural and I love it. As the days go by, things seem more normal and I'm freaking out a little less. I guess it's just so hard having all these new thoughts, like "wow....I'm now responsible for caring for someone other than me, 24/7" or "This child is going to rely on me for everything" and "I'm going to have a teenager some day".....the thoughts go on and on. It's quite scary.Despite the million different feelings, I couldn't be more amazed, or in awe of what God has given to us. Hartley is the most precious baby I have ever laid eyes on and to have her stare at me with wonder is better than anything I have ever felt. It's crazy to feel pain when she feels pain and to worry every five seconds that she's still breathing.....she's already got my whole heart wrapped around her tiny little fingers and it makes the emotions even more intense. She is truly a blessing and there is no way to describe the feeling of becoming a mother until you do. I drove to the bank and Walmart yesterday and bringing her in the store (just me and her) finally let it settle in....it really hit me, I'm a mom. It was an incredible feeling. So, even though things are wonderful and she is healthy and happy, we still need the support and prayers as we adjust to becoming a family. Thank you so much to everyone who has already done so and shown us lots of love during this special time! We are so blessed!
Until next time,
Mom
