Monday, April 25, 2011

Awaiting Hartley

I never thought that this day would ever come, nor did I ever think it'd fly by this quickly and I'd soon become a mom. Since I was a little girl, my number one dream and goal in life was to be a stay at home mom, which some of you, if you have read my blog for a while now, may have heard me mention my frustration with the way people react when I tell them that. The most important thing to me in this world is to be the best wife and mother possible, and that's that. I won't go into my whole argument about why I believe being a mom is the most important job there is. I've complained in possibly one of my longest entries ever once before and this one is specifically for Hartley.

Hearing the news that I was pregnant was probably the most exciting, yet scary day of my life. Whether it come at the best or worst financial time, God made it possible there in that moment. I've been driving Joey crazy with my pregnancy ups and downs, psychotic emotions, unnecessary and ridiculous requests for some time now (and by the way, he's been an absolute angel of a husband), and I remember thinking that 40 weeks seemed like it would never come to an end. Wow. I'm in my last week before my due date and I can't even remember where these 9 months have gone. I'd definitely say that it's come faster than I could have ever imagined and that it's been the most magical time of my life.

Waiting for the big moment, that is, popping this little one (that I love more than anything already) out, is quickly approaching but yet I'm still anxiously waiting for the split second I think I'm in labor or that my body is telling me it's time. It's starting to drive me nuts, but in a way, it's quite a thrill. I tried the whole eggplant parmesan inducing idea--didn't work for me. Sad day. I think I've eaten it about 4 times in the last week (including leftovers), but still no Hartley. Despite the fact that I am beyond ready to meet this precious little bundle, I'm still waiting on packages to get here that hold that last touches to her nursery. Wow....the one time in my life that I don't have everything done 6 months, no scratch that-  a year prior to it being necessary or due, I'm actually cutting it close. Oh well. I think now more than ever I've realized that everything works together in time, like our amazing new house that just happened to work out and come into our lives a month or two before my due date. God is so good. I have no other explanation other than the power of prayer is everything. So....my very last appointment with my doctor is in two days. I'll find out how much more progress i've made and whether or not he will induce me this week or on my due date (unless Hartley decides to come on her own). I can't wait!!

I'm going to end this with the poem I wrote in the very beginning of my pregnancy because somehow, writing this entry made me remember when I first felt her move inside me. Anyways, that's all! Pray for me!

<3 SaRaH


A Little Note to My Little Princess:

I feel you...
tiny, precious, innocent one inside me.
I think about you constantly...
wondering if you're okay, if I'm taking good care.
I dream about meeting you...
looking in your eyes, holding your hand, giving you kisses.
I love you...
even though i've never seen your face, or looked in your eyes,
or held your hand, or given you kisses- because,
You are the gift I've waited for my whole life, my little princess.