An Answered Prayer

For many months people have asked me one question. I'm sure you can guess it. "What are you doing after college, Sarah?" I have told everyone who asks me this that I have absolutely no idea. Those who knew that I was majoring in Liberal Studies (aka Early Childhood Education) and who know my personality well, know that I have the hugest passion and dream of my career being a housewife and mother. I wrote a year ago about how a young teacher (unmarried) during my TAP experience squashed that idea and made me feel horrible about it. She told me that getting married before 25 was way too young and that I needed to accomplish my own goals and dreams and make something of myself before I surrendered my life to being stuck as a housewife who does not have an identity. Of course, I was completely shocked by this response and very angry and hurt that the world has come to think this way...that housewives and mothers are no longer needed or considered one of the most important jobs in the world....Although, that still hasn't changed my big dream or my attitude of its importance. Many of you know that I had had many bad experiences with the teaching assistant program that I was required to complete during my first year of teaching courses, which led me to decide that I was not meant to teach. This was all because of ONE single teacher who was rude to me, did not respect my desire and willingness to help and learn and do what she needed me to do in her classroom, which ended up leaving me a negative attitude towards teaching or anything to do with it. However, being that this is my last year of college, actually my last semester, I have been praying constantly about what I should be doing after I graduate but it had not been clear at all until just recently.
With all of the wedding planning and stress of my seven classes (22 hours) I have not been able to give myself time to notice was has been happening this semester or even time to breathe, relax, and do something for myself. Amidst all of the work that goes into graduating in 3 years, I have succeeded in losing myself because I have not had any time to care that I was no longer doing things to make myself happy, but things to follow a plan in graduating early. For some reason, these past couples of weeks I was made aware of something that I thought had already been decided---my teaching career. Let me fill you in: Every Thursday, I go to an elementary school to teach Physical Education to first graders (this is one of 4 schools I go to each week to teach) and boy, is that crazy! Two weeks ago, it was my turn to teach (out of my group members) PE to our 1st grade class and I had been dreading it for weeks not because I didn't want to do it, but because I get so nervous to have all attention on me and to speak in front of a large group. The morning I was supposed to teach, I woke up feeling as calm as I had ever felt in my life. I had been praying that I would do a great job and that I could do better than my group members had done. When I got to the school, I had successfully been able to get all of the equipment for my lesson plan, 21 name tags for the kids, and a confident and excited mood for being a teacher. This class of first graders is absolutely crazy, and you can see that by looking around the field outside and noticing the other first graders being obedient and quiet when asked to do so. Something was different about this day and I'm not sure why...maybe it was because I prayed. I began to explain my lesson to the kids who were unusually and surprisingly being quiet and listening extremely well as compared to my other group members lesson. I planned a Jumping lesson for them, which used animals to display different levels of jumping: low, medium, and high. I used stations with poly spots (rubber circles they jump on), dome cones, and regular orange cones to represent the different levels of jumping which were 1-low like a frog jumping on a lily pad, 2- like a kangaroo jumping over rocks, and 3- like a Deer jumping high over the bushes. The kids absolutely loved my lesson. They cooperated, listened, showed extreme enthusiasm and when at the end, I began to review what they had learned, they rememembered everything I had told them. I have never felt that confident and happy that I had achieved so much and truly felt like a good teacher. I didn't realize that throughout the semester, I had fallen in love with all of my different classes ranging from 1st grade to 6th grade. Even in my 2nd grade English class, I have kids drawing me pictures, squeezing me so tight with hugs every time I come and go, and begging me to stay. It wasn't until this past week that I had this sudden realization that maybe God had answered my prayer and tried to show me that I was and really am meant to be a teacher to young kids. I feel now that my major actually has been worthwhile and that my natural love and dream of being a wife and mother actually coincides with a possible career outside of the house. It's an amazing feeling and a realization and answer that I have been waiting for. I'm not sure how difficult it will be to make happen, with all of the testing and certification, but I know that this hasn't all happened for nothing.......

Until next time....<3

Getting Anxious......Counting down the days.

I love you not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you I love you not only for what you have made of yourself But for what you are making me I love you for the part of me that you bring out. I love you for passing over all my foolish and weak traits, That you can't help but see I love you for drawing out into the light my beauty, That no one else had looked quite far enough to din I love you.